One of the symptoms of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome or CRPS is memory loss. You may also have trouble finishing sentences or finding the correct words when speaking. These issues are very frustrating and can cause anger, confusion, and depression.
Let’s talk about memory loss first. I did not have any memory issues prior to the CRPS, at least nothing that caused any concern. On a daily basis, memory loss is a huge obstacle to hurdle. I need to use pill boxes, notes, reminders and cheat sheets. My wife has to constantly remind me, or text me or leave me notes so I remember things. I had to relearn how to live a normal life, but it is still far from normal.
I get very irritable when I do not remember something, I just don’t think I will fully get used this happening to me. On a few occasions, I have encountered a few situations where I forget where I am. It has happened in locations I am familiar with, but for a few minutes, I do not recognize anything. It is absolutely horrifying to me and causes increased anxiety. I fear this will happen again to me, but I try to stay positive and I hope that this issue will not develop again.
Speaking normally has become next to impossible at times. It feels like my mouth and my brain disconnect occasionally, causing stutters, pauses, lost words, unfinished sentences and lost thoughts. Conversations become a chore for me and sometimes I just do not want to speak with people.
The brain disconnect I spoke of, happens in my thought process also, making concentration also very difficult. Projects that used to take me minutes can now take me much longer. I find it hard to even write this blog. I start and stop fairly consistently or even forget what I was writing, so for me, even this blog is very frustrating at times to write.
This combination of symptoms cause me to have a heightened sense of anxiety and can actually make me not want to start any projects, or leave the house or even just get out of bed in the morning(the latter is usually accompanied by a lack of sleep). I am taking Lexapro for the depression and anxiety, but it does not give full relief from these issues. I will hopefully be getting back into therapy to tackle this head on. A good therapist that understands CRPS is important to have.
This all comes back to the fact that in order to have any chance to go into remission or beat this disease, I need a healthy mind and body. It seems at times it’s just a big snowball effect, but instead of getting better, I just keep getting worse, but I will continue to fight the CRPS every day! Do your best to have a positive outlook every day and count your blessings. Staying busy and exercise are two great ways to battle CRPS and keep your mind and body in tip-top shape.
I am having a bad day today, but I am glad I was able to get this post completed. I feel accomplished.
Peace, you are never alone!