Another Sleepless Night…

I wrote this post at 3:30 am:

It’s 3:30 am, I am awake and typing another post involving sleep. Nights are becoming my days, days becoming my nights. This is getting to be a real problem for me. I take Nortriptyline to help me sleep, but I no longer feel tired after taking it. My mind and body just won’t shut off. Shooting pains come from my leg and foot, it’s actually not that bad tonight, that’s a pleasant surprise, but I wish I could sleep.

It’s 3:30 am, I am awake and typing another post involving sleep. Nights are becoming my days, days becoming my nights. This is getting to be a real problem for me. I take Nortriptyline to help me sleep, but I no longer feel tired after taking it. My mind and body just won’t shut off. Shooting pains come from my leg and foot, it’s actually not that bad tonight, that’s a pleasant surprise, but I wish I could sleep.
I have put on a few pounds since the CRPS started, at first, it wasn’t much, but now I embarrassed to say that I have put on 35 lbs. I know what’s doing it, I do not shirk responsibility, but it’s like I cannot control my cravings. I crave chocolate so much, I never used to crave it like this. My appetite is whacky, I am not hungry for hours, then BAM, I am very hungry. I eat at night because I am up to all hours and the hunger kicks in.
It was explained to me that the craving and sleep issues could be caused by the Lexapro, which I got off of last week. I have been on the Wellbutrin since then. My doctor explained the Lexapro will take a week or so to clear out of my system, so I am waiting for that. Hopefully, the Wellbutrin should eventually help reduce the cravings because the brand of Wellbutrin I am taking is Bupropion and it is used to help people quit smoking.
One side effect of Wellbutrin is weight loss, so hopefully, I can shed a few pounds.
Also adding to my weight gain is a lack of exercise and that is my fault. I do exercise my bad leg and foot daily but unfortunately, that is about it. Especially since I started this blog, I have been in front of my PC doing research and typing posts for this and on my Hubpages articles.
I know I have to change in order to lose weight, but I feel I do not have any control over these things. I have to stay focused on my goals, especially losing weight.
I have to admit I feel the CRPS is getting worse. Of course, I am probably just having bad few weeks and it should turn around. As I call it ‘riding the wave’ as it goes up and down, this is the down part.
Listen to me, I am sounding a bit pathetic. I apologize, the lack of sleep is getting to me. My memory is real bad, I am having mood swings, I am depressed, I can’t concentrate, I feel a little paranoid and I am very stressed out. I have no reason to stress out, I am out of work, my wife and I do not have kids and my wife helps me do the things I can’t do.
It does feel good to put these feelings and problems in writing. I feel so strong sometimes, that is why I wanted to start this blog to help fellow sufferers, I could be an anchor and help them ride the bad wave. Its times like these that I don’t feel strong enough to help anyone. It kind of makes this blog useless for anyone but me and I feel that’s very selfish of me.
I need to man up and get through these rough times and ride the wave to shore. I need to listen to my own advice and be strong, keep a positive attitude and tackle these feelings.
I am strong, I am going to make it through this. I have to convince myself of this.
It’s just so damn hard sometimes, but thank you for indulging my rant. CRPS sucks!
We are never, ever alone…………

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