It’s been a little bit since I wrote anything, I take that back, it has been a while since I posted anything I have written about CRPS. I have some things saved as drafts, but not sure if I should post them. The reason I did not want them posted is because I am not sure where I want this blog to go. Should it be purely my research and just be informational with some personal interjections splattered in, or should I head to the more personal side of things? I am not sure.

I am not sure what it is I am trying to accomplish or what people want to read. I know it would be easier for me if I turned this into a journal of sorts, kind of like a peek inside my life as I battle this shitty disease. But, most of the people who read this, I assume have the disease, so why would they want to read about my life, when your lives will probably just mirror mine. My life isn’t all that interesting anyways.

I talk about how I feel day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute is like riding a wave, up and down. It’s been a downward trend for a while now. The pain is increasing, I am starting to swell again, sleep is a joke, moods are generally down(I am not sure if I will be riding this Wellbutrin train too much longer). I can’t work on anything for longer than a few minutes at a time or I just get confused and irritated. I can only type a sentence or two, then I have to take a break, I forget what I was writing, so I have to go back and read it over and over.

I am 46 years old, I feel like I am 90 some days. Eh, what’s that sonny, I can’ts quite hear ye, what’s he saying, ah get away??(This is mildly humorous if you say it in your head like a grumpy old man)

I need to get back into some sort of psychotherapy. I think without it, it just makes this battle that much harder. I know some of you, if not all, have their own insurance and payment garbage to deal with. I do not want to sound like I am the only one with troubles. Besides, you all are reading this blog to find some sort of solace, but then you get me bitching, lol. Sorry.

I guess right now, I need my own inspiration. I don’t know.

Hey, we are never alone!!



3 Replies to “I don’t know…”

  1. Jim I find your blog very interesting, you write very well. I think like many others who are dealing with pain and disease in their lives, need to have access to your writings.
    I do believe it to be so helpful, a reaching out to each other. The medical system only goes so far, they do not touch on anything like this. You are taking the time to, not only be your own advocate but the advocate of many who have no where to go, no one to turn to as their doctors are unable to give them the time or know the nswera. In your writing you will receive more and more of your own answers and the answers for many who are unable to get into the depth of thinking that you have accomplishe. Please keep sharing this post, do not give up. You will not only be giving up on yourself, you will be giving up on the hope of many others dealing with this debilitating disease.

    1. Crystal, believe it or not I will be having one of my posts published on their site, I am very excited about it. Also, I see they are located in Milford, CT. I live 30 minutes from there.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.