It’s been a little bit since I wrote anything, I take that back, it has been a while since I posted anything I have written about CRPS. I have some things saved as drafts, but not sure if I should post them. The reason I did not want them posted is because I am not sure where I want this blog to go. Should it be purely my research and just be informational with some personal interjections splattered in, or should I head to the more personal side of things? I am not sure.
I am not sure what it is I am trying to accomplish or what people want to read. I know it would be easier for me if I turned this into a journal of sorts, kind of like a peek inside my life as I battle this shitty disease. But, most of the people who read this, I assume have the disease, so why would they want to read about my life, when your lives will probably just mirror mine. My life isn’t all that interesting anyways.
I talk about how I feel day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute is like riding a wave, up and down. It’s been a downward trend for a while now. The pain is increasing, I am starting to swell again, sleep is a joke, moods are generally down(I am not sure if I will be riding this Wellbutrin train too much longer). I can’t work on anything for longer than a few minutes at a time or I just get confused and irritated. I can only type a sentence or two, then I have to take a break, I forget what I was writing, so I have to go back and read it over and over.
I am 46 years old, I feel like I am 90 some days. Eh, what’s that sonny, I can’ts quite hear ye, what’s he saying, ah get away??(This is mildly humorous if you say it in your head like a grumpy old man)
I need to get back into some sort of psychotherapy. I think without it, it just makes this battle that much harder. I know some of you, if not all, have their own insurance and payment garbage to deal with. I do not want to sound like I am the only one with troubles. Besides, you all are reading this blog to find some sort of solace, but then you get me bitching, lol. Sorry.
I guess right now, I need my own inspiration. I don’t know.
Hey, we are never alone!!